Once Upon a Sometime
by cagalli-chan
Summary: Gundam SEED. Yaoi. AthrunKira. 'When I wanted him to take my weathered hand and let him pull my tired body up from the darkness I was trapped in and into the light I was so desperately trying to find.' RR please.


Disclaimer: Gundam SEED belongs to Bandai, Sunrise, and whatever lucky bastard owns it. I am not gaining any profit whatsoever so don't sue the poor student who is about to become poorer when said student is about to go to college.  


  
Summary: _'When I wanted more . . . when I wanted him to stop feeling like he had to protect me from the horrors of the world. When I wanted him to take my weathered hand and let him pull my tired body up from the darkness I was trapped in and into the light I was so desperately trying to find.'_  


  
Pairing: Athrun/Kira  


  
Warnings: This is yaoi which means boy/boy luv. Don't read it if it offends you. Flames will be used to start my fire. As far as spoilers are concerned, there are references from the entire series. If you haven't seen the entire series yet, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. Really must emphasize that because I don't to hear complaints later that I spoiled 'it' for them later on.  


  
A/N: This little ficlet takes place about three years after the series, so they are in college right now. Just pretend that coordinators aren't as smart as said in the series. ;) Inspiration came from a poem called 'Once Upon a Sometime' by Jamie Tucker and watching the entire series the night before because Gundam SEED is airing tonight (4-17-04) on Cartoon Network! Woohoo! ::does a little dance:: I hope I won't be disappointed but from what I have seen so far, it all looks good. Anyways, enjoy the fic.  


  
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Once Upon a Sometime  


  
_Isn't it supposed to happen this way? I mean, we talked. Became friends. That friendship grew stronger . . . so strong that he's the thing I'd miss the most. It just seems that the next logical step would be . . ._  


  
_. . . well. . ._  


  
_. . . love._  


  
_I don't know when exactly it was that I wanted things to change between us. When I was no longer content, being 'just' his friend. When I wanted more . . . when I wanted him to stop feeling like he had to protect me from the horrors of the world. When I wanted him to take my weathered hand and let him pull my tired body up from the darkness I was trapped in and into the light I was so desperately trying to find._  


  
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"Check!" Athrun said smugly, reclining in his chair. "Try and get out of that one, Cagalli." Cagalli just sat there, staring at the chessboard. "Come on, I can't wait on you forever," he teased. Of course, Cagalli being Cagalli didn't hear the humor in his tone.  


  
"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," she snapped. There was nothing that Cagalli hated more than losing to Athrun at chess. In fact, she **hated** losing period.  


  
I was the only one present to see the demise of Cagalli. Lacus was conveniently gone at this appropriate time and I had to applaud her intelligence to leave when she had the chance. Of course, I was still here but not for watching the game. More importantly, my undivided attention was not my twin sister Cagalli but the opposition she was facing.  


  
"Cagalli, if you move the bishop here, you'll have a clear swipe at my rook," Athrun told her, pointing to the pieces.  


  
She glared at him. "Very funny, Athrun. If I move that bishop, then your pawn could capture my Queen. So I'll just move my King here and . . ."  


  
"Check mate!" Athrun shouted victoriously. "You fell for that trap again! It's the same one I use every time we play. I'd think that you of all people would see through it."  


  
I was amazed with him. Whenever he sits down in front of the black and white board, he becomes like a legendary war hero. He's all strategy, all power. Just like in the war, he was completely in his element. He is . . . angelic. Divine.  


  
I love the way his green eyes glow with ferocity whenever he spies a move on the board. The way his lips part in pleasure as he lays an especially nasty trap for his foe . . . those same lips that I wished were on my own . . .  


  
"Well, don't feel too bad," Athrun said complacently, kicking his feet up on the table. "It's a subtle trick. I don't think even Kira, who's been staring at me for the last hour, saw it coming. Did you, Kira?"  


  
"Huh? Oh, yeah. Of course. Er, what did you say?"  


  
Athrun waved his hand in front of my eyes. "Hey, Kira, you there?" he asked. "You've been kinda loony for the whole game. You missed Cagalli's utter defeat."  


  
"It was not 'utter'" Cagalli asserted. "It was just . . ."  


  
"Total. Complete. A sound thrashing if there's ever been one . . ."  


  
I forced a laugh for their sakes as well as my own. "Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Sorry, Cagalli, but, Athrun did beat you pretty bad. Again," I said with a slight smirk.  


  
Cagalli 'harrumphed.'  


  
"So what's up with you tonight, Kira? You've been totally out of it," Athrun asked me.  


  
"Oh, I, um . . ." I floundered. How was I supposed to tell my best friend that I was, well, starting to like him? Like, not just as a friend . . . but more?  


  
Athrun means a lot to me. Always has, since I first met him when we were both five years old. I missed him terribly when he had to go to PLANT. At such a young age, there was no way to identify that 'feeling' I felt when he left . . . the feeling I was feeling right now.  


  
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_"There really won't be a war between PLANT and the Earth."_  


  
_I blinked back sudden tears even though I knew it would be childish but I couldn't help it. There was a little whisper in the back of my mind that it would be okay because this was my best friend. He wouldn't laugh at me, ridicule me, look at me in disgust but my stubborn childhood pride would not allow me to appear weak in front of him._  


  
_When he handed me the mechanical bird, I quietly accepted the bird, staring at it softly, as tears did finally swelled up and fall from my eyes and I held on to the bird reverently like it was my most prized possession._  


  
_"I don't think there's a reason to take refuge, but . . . Kira, you'll also be coming to PLANT sometime in the future, right?"_  


  
_I looked back at him at he was looking at me with a mix of sadness, anger, and love. Sadness because he made me sad, anger because he had to leave me, and love because he loved me . . ._  


  
_. . . I just didn't know what kind of 'love' he had for me._  


  
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After all, he was the first friend I'd ever had. The first human being my own age who didn't feel like he had to knock me down . . . who didn't feel like he had to laugh at me . . . who didn't rub it in my face when I started to cry because of my status as coordinator . . . because he was the same as me. 'Two peas in a pod' to use a cliché.  


  
Our friendship has never been "normal." It's always been deeper than that. I've always loved him, like a brother. Even though I was older than him, he felt it was his duty to protect me from everyone else. But things grew. I don't know what it was, but I . . . began feeling the same way about him that I did whenever I saw Fllay during the earlier parts of the war.  


  
Fllay . . . even after three years hearing that name brought a pang to my heart. I knew she was using me to her own motives with her hatred towards coordinators when her father died, but at the time she was the only one to comfort me in my time of need. So, in a way, I used her for my own personal gains also.  


  
But somewhere along the line, we crossed that unspoken boundary that we both set and everything just seemed to break down from there. The next time we meet in space, I had to save her because she was someone I needed to protect, someone to lookout for because she cared for me and vice versa. But it wasn't the same as before and I think she understood that . . .  


  
. . . or I hope she did . . .  


  
. . . before she died.  


  
Remembering that, now I want nothing more in the world than just to be with him. But I haven't the slightest idea how to tell him that.  


  
"Too much time spent working on the computer, I guess," I finished lamely.  


  
Athrun raised his eyebrows at me, as if he was going to say something to the effect that he didn't believe me one bit. But he just shrugged a "whatever" at me, and went back to tormenting Cagalli for her lack of chess skills.  


  
I sank deeper into my chair and, again, found my eyes wandering back to Athrun. His glowing purple hair, his tall, lean body, his deep green eyes . . .  


  
There was something about his eyes that ensnared me. Captivated me. Like twin pools of shimmering emerald radiance that begged me to drown in them.  


  
I could . . .   


  
. . . would . . .  


  
. . . if ever he would let me.  


  
What's happening? When did I start feeling like this about my best friend? Why? It's not that I don't like these feelings, but . . . where'd they come from? And could Athrun ever feel the same way? I couldn't lose him again, could I?  


  
"Kira! Hey, Kira!"  


  
"Huh?" I shook my head. Athrun was standing in front of me.  


  
"I asked you a question," he said. "Did you do your research paper yet?"  


  
"Er, um . . . yeah. Need help?" Please say yes. Any excuse to spend more time with you.  


  
"Well, if you're going to be as out of it as you have been, I might as well ask Yzak for help."  


  
"Oh, sorry about that, Athrun. Really, it's nothing."  


  
Athrun shook his head and sat down beside me. "No, it's something, Kira. I know you too well. We're best friends, remember? You can't hide anything from me."  


  
Oh, trust me, Athrun, I don't want to hide this from you, but I don't really have a choice.  


  
"I'm not hiding anything," I told him, avoiding his eyes. "It's just nerves, you know? They act up all the time."  


  
Athrun shrugged. "If you say so, Kira."  


  
I started to daze as Cagalli explained the assignment to him, and, of course, found myself looking back at Athrun. As usual, he was feigning attention to Cagalli's pseudo-lecture, just picking up the important points here and there. What was he thinking about? I hoped (futilely, of course) that it was about me.  


  
Though I knew he couldn't feel the same . . .  


  
. . . it doesn't hurt to dream.  


  
"Cagalli," Athrun said, his voice holding a trace of exasperation, "I don't see where . . . "  


  
Feeling this was as much of an opportunity as I would have, I leaned over and pointed out the section in his book. To my delight, he didn't lean back as our bodies got close . . .   


  
. . . didn't shiver as our forearms touched . . .  


  
. . . it was more than I could've hoped for at the moment.  


  
"Oh." He flashed me a small smile, which always made me weak in the knees. "Thanks, Kira."  


  
For a moment, I was so thrown by his smile that I forgot I should reply. "You're welcome," I said belatedly, reluctantly pulling away.  


  
The rest of the night passed too quickly for my liking. There never seems to be enough hours in the day for me to spend with Athrun. At least, an awake Athrun. What I like about nights is that I can watch him endlessly without him freaking out on me. He looks so beautiful under the pale light of the moon. Like a sleeping angel. I've found that as long as his sleeping form is the last thing I see before I close my eyes, the nightmares never come.  


  
But as much as I'm glad to be rid of the nightmares, I would willingly bear them with Athrun sleeping by my side.  


  
_~end~_  


  
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Please read and review. ^_^


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